Thoughts on Motherhood- Going Back to Work

I am officially back to work after 12 weeks of maternity leave through FMLA. I was supremely blessed to be able to take this time- my company has a program where others can donate leave and without those gracious donations I could not have done so (gotta get paid, yo).

Everyone treated me like I should be crying the entire week leading up to it. 

Some people talk about how they had to go part-time because they couldn't/didn't want to be away from their kid. Some have noted that my husband could get a part-time job, because his FT job isn't a traditional schedule, and that way I could stay home (I don't even know...).

Look, I miss my kid. I do. 

But I'm also glad to be back. I like working. I like contributing to my family's financial situation. I like getting out of the house. I like being good at something. I like hearing that I am helpful and professional and an asset to my department. And I talk about that because I don't see the point in focusing on the negative.

What sucks waaaaaay worse than the amount of time I spend away from my daughter is being told how fucking miserable my life must be because I work. 

It's like when Brandon was deployed- I didn't need anyone to tell me how shitty it was for my husband to be at war. I was fully fucking aware, trust me.

This is my life. 

This is what I (/we) have chosen.

I don't need to hear what you think of it, honestly. Sure a "Hey how is the adjustment to work going?" is fine. But if you are asking ME how I feel, don't follow up with some bullshit about how you would feel. That seems like judgement. Anything more than "Oh I'm glad she likes the baby-sitter" or "Good luck getting used to the new routine" is just not welcome. It's rude. So, shh. Please & thank you.


  1. Lol! I'm always interested in this topic and certain other motherhood things because, exactly as you're experiencing, everyone has an opinion. We were actually just at a family reunion and I was talking about ideas for building up my network of clients for freelancing and I thought maybe I'd apply for part time or intern type positions, not so much for the money but for the connections and my grandmother said, "Well, if you're planning on having kids any time soon, there's really no point because then you'll start and just be done right away." Uhhh... what now? Why would I be done? It's like it didn't even occur to her that I might want to continue working despite the fact that both of her daughters did so. Of course, that might also have been her not-so-subtle way of digging to see if we were expecting. Ha!

    Anyway, you do you! I'm glad you're working and I'm glad you like it and (I presume) are not miserable about it. I hope it's the same way for me when it's my time.

  2. I just quit my job (although I quit my regular job last year, I've been working on temporary status in the Guard for the past 6 months), so it's always interesting to hear different perspectives. I am due soon and not planning to return to work unless we need me to, but I wonder if I will miss it sometimes. I do like being productive and being around other people all day, but I will find out soon what it's like to be home and doing kid stuff instead. I think everyone does what works for them, and I don't even know what's going to work out best yet, but I don't see the point in judging other people when you don't know what fulfills their life.