Doing Things the "Right" Way

My life trajectory has been fairly traditional. I graduated high school, got engaged to my high school sweetheart, started college, got married, and have a baby. With the exception of getting married at 18, then waiting 5+ years to have kids, none of this is terribly exciting or special.

During the time we were married but without kids, my husband finished his military service/started school/got a full time job. I finished college and got a full time job also.

There are tons of people who do things differently these days. 

Have babies before marriage, or before school, or go through multiple serious relationships. I'm not saying any of these things are wrong, okay?

But so many times over the years, people have told me how great it is that I'm doing things the "right" way.

There are of course people who hate the idea of my life- and that's okay. The interesting thing to me is that it isn't people who have lived similar lives who've told me how smart my choices have been- it's people who have done things totally differently.

I hear it from teen moms, or people who had babies before marriage, or people who put their education on hold. I hear it from people who've lost track of their first loves simply for the sake of playing the field.

There are many paths of life, and different people will enjoy different ones. I can only speak to my personal experience and what I have been told.

Some people look at my life and think it must be super boring. Again, that's okay.

But I would just like to say- my life is awesome. 

Seriously, it really is.

I have a husband that I love with all my heart, who also happens always make me laugh and holds me when I wake up after nightmares and is great in bed.

I have a super cute kid that I chose to have, who I don't resent even a little bit (I mean, it's somewhat annoying when she wants to get up at 1 am but it's not resentment).

Yes I have a boring 9-5 job, but it keeps me away from people and in a building dealing with old papers and puzzles which I actually like, plus I have good benefits and my supervisors seem to really like/appreciate me. I can come home with almost no stress and spend time with my family and friends (and books). I call that a win!

Look, I'm not telling you to live your life my way. 

I just want to point out that in this super cool, free fall age of following your heart and being super creative and running wild and free's okay to be a little boring.

I think women especially have had this idea presented that now we all need to be Carrie Bradshaw (even though, let's admit, that woman was a friggin' mess 90% of the time). We have this idea that there must be some big grand adventure all the time and we are somehow not taking advantage of the freedoms we finally have if we live a quiet life.*

*not saying women have all the freedoms of men, but we have more than most women throughout history

 It's okay to actually be realistic, or to not have a creative focus, or to have a family. 

If you are happy, then be happy. Someone is always going to judge you. And while you shouldn't do things the "right" way just for the sake of doing what others want, you also shouldn't avoid things just to be wild and cool. In the words of Ron Swanson:

Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.


  1. This kind of makes me want to write a post titled "Doing Things the Wrong Way." Lol! My life has been probably the polar opposite of yours, but I'm glad my early relationships failed and I played the field, because I was in huge danger of recreating my parent's relationship, which is not healthy or happy. And Ryan and I did wait until we had marriage and house things sorted before getting pregnant, but it wasn't for any sort of moral reasons. It was entirely practical. "Do we want to be house hunting while pregnant? Probably not. Let's minimize stress." I think finding stability makes your life easier, and it doesn't really matter what order the pillars fall into place. But I totally agree that it's ok to be boring, or traditional, and I think a lot of people find more happiness when they meet their safety/relationship needs than when they jump straight to the top of Maslow's hierarchy and start chasing self actualization without a good foundation underneath.

  2. I love this! I feel similary, I've always done things the traditional way. It might look boring to some, but it works for me!