How I Can Help

original photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash
I try to be a helpful person. But often I feel like people don't accept my offer. To be fair, I don't really accept help either...and I'm terrible at asking for it. In the past few months though I've made a concentrated effort to ask and accept help- without guilt.

This is kind of revolutionary.

In our FC/A classes, our teacher said that one day at church a man made the comment "If there is anything I can do to help, let me know." So she was honest and said "Well daycare for my grandson is killing us, honestly the biggest help would be money." And shockingly, the man said "Well I don't have a lot but I can pay for a week."

Y'all, a week of daycare is huuggeeee (fun story- my mom told me about someone complaining of the cost of daycare in my small hometown...which is literally 1/2 of what we pay each month...I did not tell her this).

People, especially Southerners and especially Christians, say this all the time: "Please let me know if I can do anything for you!" And you know what they end up doing? NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.

I'm not sure if it's pride, or independence, or the belief that no one really cares. Probably a combo of these things and much more.

But it made me wonder- when I say that, what do I mean?

I truly want to be the kind of person that people can count on, and trust to help. So I'm trying to come up with a list of things I actually have to offer people. Here's what I have so far:

  • Bring dinner. I can make dinner and drop it off so that's 1 less thing to worry about. I love the nights I throw frozen lasagna in the oven because it is less stress and more time with Babycakes. 
  • Have you over for dinner. Are you tired of being in the house with your kid(s)/pet(s) only for company? Come on over. My house is messy and it may be something cheap like spaghetti or chili, but I won't let you go hungry. Food, friends, and no clean up- always nice.
  • Pour you a drink. I'm not saying turn to booze as an answer to everything, but...yeah. It can be a little helpful for adults without dependency problems.
  • Baby or pet-sit. Need a moment without a child or dog nipping at your heels, wanting food or toys? I gotcha.
  • Go for a walk. I know there are some arguments against chalking mental illness up to just a sun deficiency...but again, for mild cases or average stress, I personally find a walk or run in nature to be a really good "re-set" for my mental energy.

What about you? 
Any ideas I can add to my list, 
or things you would appreciate/have done for others?


  1. Oh! The other day I was feeling down and I literally wanted someone to go for a walk with me and the only person I had to ask was my mom. I love my mom and appreciate that she's willing to do stuff with me but it made me a little sad that I have all these "friends" and acquaintances and still no one to do random, spur of the moment stuff. So yeah, going for a walk, or watching a pet/child, and providing food! All amazing things. When my friends get around to having kids, I won't visit without dropping off food because I know how stressful it was those first few months.

  2. I love the list of things you truly mean you could offer to help with. I always think back to the first few weeks after bringing Zoe home. I would have given anything for someone to watch her while I took a nap. Or played with her for a few minutes so I could wash the dishes, do the laundry, sweep the floors, act like a human for a minute. You make a great point that a lot of people say that they would like to help, but do nothing.