A Little Slice of Peace


Last night, I was slightly hungry before bed. My go-to for this situation is often chocolate milk. It's simple and cheap enough that I always have the ingredients (I use that term lightly) and just filling enough that I can go to sleep comfortably.

I didn't need a lot, though, so for my glass I used a small tumbler. This weekend the girls from my church small group had a girl's night, and did this Pinterest project for painting glasses. We talked and painted and baked and talked and ate pizza and cookies. It was a great night with female friends and it made me happy to use the glass.

Then I went to read in bed. I like reading relatively light-hearted books before bed, or re-reads where I can rest comfortably with foreknowledge. So I decided to start re-reading the Harry Potter series again.

I snapped a quick pic to send to my friends who I decorated the glass with, as a fun reminder of the night and to say thanks again.

When I went to post it...I smiled. This calm descended on me...or maybe it was already there. I was just so...peaceful. I was happy, and content, and I just felt good.

It's been a while since I could feel that...it's been a while since I could feel it, and recognize it, without anxiety immediately making me think "Oh no this won't last," even as it slips away.

But this picture makes me feel it. It keeps that feeling deep in my soul, which has felt so weary over the past few years.

I haven't been blogging a lot lately, and I thought about apologizing or at least addressing that. But I'm feeling good, you guys. And I'm not apologizing for anything that is leading to me feeling good. This picture is proof that something is going right, and that I have a good life.

And maybe that sounds silly to some people. A nearly 30 year old woman drinking chocolate milk and reading Harry Potter isn't exactly cool or mature or setting the world on fire. But I wager that many people who struggle with anxiety or depression or just a bad fucking day will understand what an immeasurable blessing it is to feel peaceful in your soul.

 I stopped reading, stopped posting, and said a prayer of thanks.

I am thankful for peace, I am thankful for salvation, I am thankful for determination, I am thankful for hope, I am thankful for friends...I am thankful to be at a rest stop in life. Regardless of how small or how long it lasts, last night was a beautiful moment of peace.

3 comments

  1. I'm so glad you're finding peace! And I think reading Harry Potter and drinking chocolate milk sounds AMAZING.

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  2. Love this. I am filled with joy just thinking of that kind of peace. Zero cares on what brings people that peace - whatever it is, I support it.

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  3. 1. #Latergram because you switched addresses and I couldn't figure out how to add the new site to Feedly because technology is hard and now I've figured it out, so I'm stalkin' again! WOO!

    2. That Calc 2 class being over has brought me more peace than I expected. I know that sounds obvious, but this semester has been so enjoyable (gasp! School? Enjoyable? Say it ain't so!) but I've been taking moments to appreciate the struggle that was Hell Month and the joy I'm getting from my classes right now.

    3. Hell yeah to chocolate milk and HP.

    4. Sometimes it's the simplest, random, things that bring me joy (like smiling at the photo).

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