I'm Alive!

 It's been four months since my last blog post, and I've been feeling like I should come say something. 

2020 was crazy...and 2021 isn't pre-pandemic normal...at least not yet.

Over the past year, it felt like there was much noise. And to be honest...I didn't know how to handle it, and I definitely didn't feel like I needed to add to it. 

In the past, blogging was a way to either consolidate my thoughts or talk about things I didn't really have a place to participate in IRL. 

This year...my thoughts have not been public ready. It's been way more helpful mentally to just do old-school journaling, and not edit or worry that something would be misconstrued. 

I've also just not had the energy to engage. It's been so hard to focus on my IRL relationships since those communication patterns have been severely disrupted. Moving my in-person relationships online just meant there were too many things to juggle in that area. 

Additionally...I'm pregnant! So I have really not had the energy. Not sure if it's because I am older now, or because this baby is a BOY and the hormones are different...or what, but I've been knocked the hell out at many points. Actually, yeah...my last post was in October which is about when I found out. The next three months saw me too sick and tired to do pretty much anything. Poor Babycakes- there were entire weekends we literally sat on the couch for two days watching TV while Hubs was working because I just couldn't move without feeling like I would puke. Probably didn't help that I was so sensitive to everything that for a while I was living off Cheerios & Cup 'O Noodles. Things got better in the second trimester, but not nearly back to normal. And it comes and goes- even on my "good" days, I still have to recover with hot baths & heating pads- yay, sciatica that starts way earlier in subsequent pregnancies!

We also decided to work with a friend who just started in the real estate business about selling our house to upgrade. That was a month or so of big decisions and stress, but the market is bone dry at the moment. And the one house that fit our criteria...ended up selling for like 20000+ over asking with no contingencies and just ridiculousness. So, we might just take some of the money we would have put down on a new house to do some improvements around our current house. I actually do love our house- just wanted a bonus room and to be in a neighborhood as we are kind of on a busier street. But even looking at the other house- it fit our criteria, but it also didn't have some things our house did. So I'm not despondent or anything...actually really appreciate our home more, if anything.

 This week's craziness came in a few forms- my mom finally visited and it was the first time I've seen her since before I was pregnant! It was a tough but mutual decision around Christmas that we wouldn't visit because of high COVID numbers in NC and concerns about high-risk family members.  She was going to come visit us later in January (my dad can't handle the drive) but then she got super sick. Not COVID, but she was out for about a week. So this week as a semi-birthday present to herself she came for a day visit. It wasn't long, but it was great. 

Then, it was time to register Babycakes for kindergarten! Yep...having a baby and sending a kid to kindergarten roughly a month apart. The crazy won't be settling anytime soon. Even harder was getting her into an afterschool program. The one we wanted- that had a really good reputation and is the cheapest in town somehow- only had 3 spots for her school. So I've bugged the hell out of the director for months and got there super early but I GOT THE SPOT! It's also on the same side of town as my work and our house, which is hopefully going to cut down on time. I love her current daycare- especially this last year, they have done such a good job and I feel confident she will be more than prepared for kindergarten. But they don't offer an afterschool care option. The only drawback is that this means the new baby will go to a different daycare, that is also on this side of town. It's a great daycare, very good reputation- actually was going to be my first choice for Babycakes years ago. But they didn't have an open spot at the time and we ended up being very happy were she is now. I'm sure things will be fine at the new place too- just different. I'm hoping the fact that everyone will at least be close to each other and the house will help offset the fact that we're doing pickup at two different locations. There are some options that would have them in the care facility...but they cost 300$+ more a month and I just can't justify that. 

Oh, on top of that...Hubs got a new job. It's with the same employer, but a brand new position. Which is super cool, and he's excited, but it's also sort of a "Red-headed step child" type of position where he is unique in his responsibilities and has a completely different reporting structure...so he'll be able to help develop the position and policy and generally it will be great. But right now at the beginning, it means no one is exactly sure what to do with him. So he's still working in his former position but with some new responsibilities and tasks that need to be completed before he starts training. Getting access and assistance on all these tasks has been...interesting. It's sort of a hybrid position between two departments so people are confused at this new guy and why he's getting all these things and who can officially sign off on all this, haha. Also, he's got training that lasts for over a month and we still don't know what those hours are. Either way, it means he's 1) very busy, 2) somewhat anxious, and 3) I'm having to handle a lot of crap at home solo. A big part of why he is so excited about this job is it should have more family friendly hours...once things are more settled. But the startup is a little bumpy.

Anyway, that is why things have been quiet over here. I may be back at some point...truly, I don't know. At this point, I'm not ready to blog regularly but I'm not ready to say good-bye to it either.

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