Rejecting Mom Guilt

There is this prevailing theory in our society today, at least among 99% of mothers I know, that feeling guilty is just part of being a mom.

If you work, if you don't breastfeed, if your child is ever sick or injured, it's inevitable that you- as a mother- are supposed to feel heartbroken and like everything is your fault. You should want to be with your child every second of every day, and you should enjoy every second of every day no matter how hellish the tiny dictator in your house acts.

I see moms feel distraught and they are told "We all feel that way, it's part of the package, best wishes."

And I don't think the women responding this way mean it to be condescending. 

They truly feel like it is just our lot in life as mothers, and they are welcoming another one into the fold of despair. At least we have each other, right?

I've decided that personally, I am going to reject this idea that being a mother means I have to feel like crap all the time. 

Mom guilt can be very real y'all; the mental hell I went through trying to breastfeed was possibly the most stressful time in my life- and I say that as the wife of a combat veteran.

It's real, and it does nothing to make me a better mother/wife/person. In fact, I get sucked down into the abyss and the fail spiral only continues.

Look, I am who I am because of the choices I have made in my life. 

I will not apologize for loving to learn, and for using that education to get a halfway decent job. I will not apologize for getting cabin-fever if I stay in the house for 24 hours straight and desiring (limited) adult interaction. I will not apologize for enjoying my thirty minute child free lunch where I can read in peace. I will not apologize for leaving my child with her father, aka the man I chose as my life partner and father of my child and oh yeah he is not baby-sitting he is BEING A PARENT.

So screw it. I'm saying no to the mom guilt. 

It does nothing but belittle women for no reason.



I refuse. 

1 comment

  1. I'm scared of Mom guilt and I'm only a dog mom. I can't imagine what it will be like with actual humans.