Authentic versus Fake It Till You Make It

original hoto by Felix Russell-Saw on Unsplash [formatted via Canva]

There seems to be a big focus on authenticity lately. And I completely get that, to a point.

But I struggle because y'all, I fake it A LOT. 

I fake being friendly. I fake being comfortable with social situations.

Probably not well. I probably still come off super weird and awkward.

But if I didn't fake it, I wouldn't do it at all.

I try to be honest. I try to say "Yeah, this is uncomfortable for me." But if all I focused on was being authentic, if all I focused on was being "true to me," I wouldn't do shit.

I wouldn't be able to forgive my husband when he pissed me off, because my authentic reaction is "Fuck you, dude." I wouldn't have friends, because my authentic instinct is to go "Ugh, people."

I don't know how people balance authenticity with growth.

It seems like a lot of people can almost argue against staying the same because it is the "authentic" thing to do, and why would you be fake?

Well, because I'm an imperfect person. Because I don't want to be exactly who I am at this moment. 

I want to grow. And sometimes that means tamping down my instincts and acting the way I think is right- the way that falls in lines with my principles- instead of the way I want to act based on emotion.

I'm sure, like most things, there is a balance. But I don't hear it talked about. 

And I think focusing solely on authenticity can lead to harsh words, sarcasm, and a lack of self-control...because those things are easy, and those things are the instincts of many humans.

Honesty is good. But pure honesty, all the time?

No, that's not my goal.

What I feel isn't always best. It's important for me to give myself time to process those feelings, but it's also important to look past them.


  1. I don't think what you're doing is faking it. I don't know what to call it, but it's not faking it. To me, at least.

    No human being can be 100% authentic at all times. We'd never be able to hold jobs or coexist in society with others.

  2. I aim for transparency, rather than faking it till I make it. It's been difficult as I've met new people (who all seem to be huggers, please no thank you), but it's been a relief that I've been my "authentic" self when I first met some people, because now they aren't surprised when a true Megan moment happens and it's such a relief not to have to explain that yes, I'm just that awkward/random.

    Also, yes to the "fuck you, dude" when Husbands piss you off. In fact, sometimes I want to run up to Husband and chest bump him in an aggressive, I'm going to kick your ass way, when he pisses me off. Although when I picture that scenario playing out, it makes me laugh, which makes me less pissed off. Dammit.