Current Thoughts: January 2019

I've stopped using Twitter over the last few months, because it's so political. I understand- there is so much BULLSHIT in current American politics that someone has to be on guard at all times. And if there was a way to sign up for shifts, I'd 100% sign up for a shift. But with social media it's like every individual has to be on guard every second of every day and I cannot do that. I don't want to give up completely and be complicit, but I can't handle thinking of it all day long. That does something to me mentally that makes me feel hopeless and desperate and angry, and those things make me a bad ambassador for the causes I do believe in. Some people can use those things as fuel for positive change...I have never been able to take larges amounts of negativity and use them for good. It just doesn't work for me. So I am trying to find the balance between staying knowledgeable enough to know where to direct my voice and energy, and staying out of the actual fire.

Babycakes is growing up so fast. Yes, I'm going to be that mushy mama for a minute. We went out to dinner the other night, and I was just sitting there looking at her eating. It's so basic, but she looked so grown! She had a regular cup (with a lid & straw, but not a sippy cup) and was using a regular fork fairly well (some rice on the floor, but not terrible). And I was just so proud. It sounds so little but it's a big sign of growing up and officially being out of the baby phase. Also, we weren't carrying a diaper bag because she's officially potty-training (and doing amazing, thankfully, because I was so not looking forward to it).

I ended up registering for a Spring semester class last minute, partially due to...reasons I will explain later. Probably. Anyway, this professor has a reputation for being pretty "chill." Apparently to the point where I am now freaking out because we are about 2 weeks into the class and I've done almost nothing. It feels like I am missing something, but I got a "kudos" from some program he uses to provide feedback so...I guess it really is that chill. I'm thankful but also a little nervous. I am a big fan of the idea that if it feels too good to be true, it probably is.

I've read 8 books so far in 2019, which is pretty good for me. Normally I average 2-4 a month. Plus I've enjoyed all them, haha, which is the main thing. Yay, for enjoying your hobbies again.

I'm watching the second season of Friends from College...and I have a love/hate relationship with it. So many of the people are freakin' awful and do such stupid things, but there are also moments where I'm nodding going "Yep, I'd respond exactly the same way." So it's relatable but disappointing. However, the Marie Kondo show is freakin' adorable and lovely and makes me feel like the world will be just right as long as people learn to fold their clothes vertically. Never read her book, thought it all sounded dumb, but now I'm in.


  1. I am on twitter maybe twice a day and not for longer than two minutes in the morning to post a blog link and maybe five to 10 minutes at night, but that's not always a given. I had to take facebook off of my phone. I mute some accounts on Instagram for a while when I'm feeling inundated.

    There are enough people battling that we all don't have to do it 100% of the time. It is not healthy.

  2. I admitted to one of my professors that I don't trust his easy questions. I always expect the answer to not actually be that simple and when it is actually simple, I don't trust it and tend to over-think it because nothing is that easy. I messed up multiple projects and HW last semester because of this. He laughed, but I wasn't being funny. Maybe that Calc2 class really did scar me for life.

    Not that it's a human, but I sometimes gaze longingly at Pax and Meri because they are getting older as the years tick on and they haven't really done anything great in terms of development, but I know that time is limited and there won't be enough time for me. There are never enough Meri snuggles and I'm not even sad about being a butt-scratch servant.