Trouble Writing about the Good

Am I the only one who finds it harder to write when I'm happy?

It's always been like this. As a kid, I couldn't keep a diary because I only wanted to write when I was really sad or angry. So going back and looking at diaries would give the impression that I was the most miserable child on the planet, and who wants that version of themselves out there?

And it's not that I only had bad times. It's that I only want to write during bad times. During good times, I like to coast. I like to just sit back and enjoy it and not draw too much attention to it.

I had a great weekend this weekend, and a few good weeks since that day of random depression a few weeks ago. But when deciding what to write, the topic that most grabbed my attention was to go more in-depth about how my anxiety presents itself and why it took me so long to figure out what it actually was.

Or to rant about how Walmart has sent me the wrong size bed for Babycakes TWICE and the ensuing frustration that I'm trying to just let go of because really, what's the point? Getting my blood pressure up won't make the right size magically appear.
 
Or I did think about writing a post with random advice or insights regarding parenting, but I don't know how well that connects with everyone and if the maybe 3 people who actually read my blog consistently want to read about parenting crap.

I don't know if it's my personal bubble of the world or the state of American culture in general but snarkiness and cynicism and weariness seem to be the accepted forms of communication.

I'm not there, and I'm trying really hard not to be, actually.

On that flip side of anxiety, I sort of wanted to write a post about how despite my postpartum issues I have totally become the happy-lovey-I-will-stab-your-fucking-eyes-out-if-you-look-at-her-wrong-protective mama bear. But again...people don't always like that much cheese, and it's so much harder to clearly and appealingly share a pure and good feeling than a purely ragey one (for me).

Am I the only one?

2 comments

  1. I write best when covering things that have been hard. I like to mark happiness but sort of feel like a butterfly with only air to say.

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  2. Yo blog, yo rules. That's how I run my roost.

    I tend to find that when I want to write about negative things, I need to have a conversation with someone, more often than not. That said, there have been times that pouring out my heart on Teh Blog has been helpful for me to wade through feelings that don't necessarily have anything to do with anyone else.

    So I say, you do you.

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